OK. My mother thinks that I, how do you say in English?, shot too high with Thomas Keller. Well, how about throwing down with the winner of Top Chef! That is, with Harold.
Is that more your speed? You could challenge him on perfect plating. He blew that in the first episode. Or, let's see, to a chicken and rice cook off. I'm sure you, Mr. Iron Chef, could handle that.
How would this work? Well, perhaps the Food Network, seeing the error of their ways, decides to do a show with Harold, Mr. Just Cookin'. And while they are interviewing him, Bobby Flay shows up to challenge him to a Risotto Cook Off. Or better, a duck cook off with ramps. Or maybe a perilla, urfa and yuzu cook off. I don't know. That's not the point. The point is, get some competition, buster. I'm not taking away from the pizza guy, the gingerbread lady or the soup guy or the puffy firkin taco duo, what I'm saying is, get a life. (Before you get too upset, a firkin is a small wooden barrel.)
I hope these posts are not upsetting you. Rather, I hope you throw down and meet me Tough Guy to Tuff Guyë. Come on, Bobby, do you have the balls to meet me on a level playing field or do you always have to challenge the sick and infirm?
Ignore my challenge, Mr. Iron Chef, at your peril. Chicken. I'll taunt you some more, you silly Irishman.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Bobby Flay throws down with Thomas Keller
What IS this business of making gingerbread houses? Sure, it looks cool and sure, it looks like Bobby Flay has balls because he is taking on challenges that are way outside his comfort zone. Fine. Now, let's get real. How about a throw down with teeth? Throwing down with the gingerbread lady is like me throwing down with a Girl Scout on selling cookies. The same goes for the Pastry Chef from the FCI who did wedding cakes, ditto, the clam chowder guy, ditto the Sargent who BBQ'ed, though that had more teeth than any others did. (Oh why am I even watching this crap? Ugh.)
Back to the Girl Scout. Sure, the Girl Scout has major advantage, being cute and having the green uniform, but where is the challenge? Could I sell more? Probably. I have a car. I have connections. Either its so one sided, me challenging a Girl Scout on selling cookies, or so one sided, me challenging the local short order cook to make a 10 course tasting menu. Now come on. Let's get a challenge with some dignity.
So, if Bobby Flay thinks he's so good, and I'm sure Mr. Iron Chef thinks he's good, how about challenging Thomas Keller. I can see it now. Bobby researching Chef Keller. Hmm, best known for revolutionizing cooking. Best known for having the best restaurant in the United States, perhaps the world. Best known for having opened up four top notch restaurants and a bakery. Strengths, everything culinary, weakness, ah, nothing. Hmm. What else? In 2003, Keller collaborated with Raynaud of Limoges, France and the design firm Level on a collection of graceful white porcelain dinnerware called Point, sold nationwide. He also entered a creative partnership with renowned silversmith Christofle in designing silver hollowware currently in use at The French Laundry and Per Se. In 2000, he launched Modicum, a Napa Valley Cabernet, with Laura Cunningham and Paul Roberts, The French Laundry’s Wine Director. Wow. As if being a great Chef and restaurateur weren't enough. Does this guy sleep? (I can see Bobby breaking into a sweat at this point.)
OK. How about challenging Thomas Keller to a nine course Southwest tasting menu? That might be something that you, Bobby Flay, might have a chance at. Doubt it but I'd like to see you try. Or how about making the best amuse buse? I'd pay money to see that. If you got balls, and Gwen says you do, do it. I can see it now...
Bobby Flay rolls up to the French Laundry on Monday during a big private party and challenges Thomas Keller who things that the food network wants to do a retrospective on him. All of a sudden during a one hundred head major event for Google, here comes Bobby Flay challenging Thomas Keller to an amuse buse throw down. Think of it. I'd pay real money to see that shit.
Barring that, I'm always ready to accept a throw down. How about a dessert throw down? Up for it? Plated desserts. Chocolates? Bon bons? Best cherry cordial? How about making South American food using the BBQ? Up for that? I'm not Thomas Keller or even close but it'd be a closer match than the gingerbread lady. You could at least beat me tough guy to Tuff Guyë rather than cookie to cookie. Think about it.
Back to the Girl Scout. Sure, the Girl Scout has major advantage, being cute and having the green uniform, but where is the challenge? Could I sell more? Probably. I have a car. I have connections. Either its so one sided, me challenging a Girl Scout on selling cookies, or so one sided, me challenging the local short order cook to make a 10 course tasting menu. Now come on. Let's get a challenge with some dignity.
So, if Bobby Flay thinks he's so good, and I'm sure Mr. Iron Chef thinks he's good, how about challenging Thomas Keller. I can see it now. Bobby researching Chef Keller. Hmm, best known for revolutionizing cooking. Best known for having the best restaurant in the United States, perhaps the world. Best known for having opened up four top notch restaurants and a bakery. Strengths, everything culinary, weakness, ah, nothing. Hmm. What else? In 2003, Keller collaborated with Raynaud of Limoges, France and the design firm Level on a collection of graceful white porcelain dinnerware called Point, sold nationwide. He also entered a creative partnership with renowned silversmith Christofle in designing silver hollowware currently in use at The French Laundry and Per Se. In 2000, he launched Modicum, a Napa Valley Cabernet, with Laura Cunningham and Paul Roberts, The French Laundry’s Wine Director. Wow. As if being a great Chef and restaurateur weren't enough. Does this guy sleep? (I can see Bobby breaking into a sweat at this point.)
OK. How about challenging Thomas Keller to a nine course Southwest tasting menu? That might be something that you, Bobby Flay, might have a chance at. Doubt it but I'd like to see you try. Or how about making the best amuse buse? I'd pay money to see that. If you got balls, and Gwen says you do, do it. I can see it now...
Bobby Flay rolls up to the French Laundry on Monday during a big private party and challenges Thomas Keller who things that the food network wants to do a retrospective on him. All of a sudden during a one hundred head major event for Google, here comes Bobby Flay challenging Thomas Keller to an amuse buse throw down. Think of it. I'd pay real money to see that shit.
Barring that, I'm always ready to accept a throw down. How about a dessert throw down? Up for it? Plated desserts. Chocolates? Bon bons? Best cherry cordial? How about making South American food using the BBQ? Up for that? I'm not Thomas Keller or even close but it'd be a closer match than the gingerbread lady. You could at least beat me tough guy to Tuff Guyë rather than cookie to cookie. Think about it.
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